Originally Posted by Retread
The danger in getting enough self-control over denial of SF to not express anger or resentment is that this is a behavior of distancing. It cannot help restore romantic love, unless the wife realizes what is going on, ceases her LBs, and expresses affection through conversation, UA time and recreation with her husband in order to send signals to him that she wants to connect and restore the relationship. Otherwise, he will just be harboring and building resentment, or shutting down the rest of his feelings for her.

I just think there is no place for resentment in Plan A. And I can't see plan A working if it is present. I thought that if there is anger and resentment over lack of SF then this should be expressed as a thoughtful request. Continuing to walk around emanating bitterness and resentment to my mind is a 'selfish demand'.

What helps me drop the "resentful" mindset is something that I read which goes "Harboring resentment is like ME taking poison every day hoping the other person will die" - LOL - KWIM?

Saying that dropping resentment is an act of 'distancing' ....no. I don't agree with that. If you've expressed your disappointment/anger and asked for the need to be met - that should be it. done. The resentment shouldn't continue. Maybe I'm getting confused but - no, for me, there's something wrong with your logic here Retread. Just can't put my finger on it!