Hold, I think I'll have to go back and read your description of how you implemented plan A. (maybe I can learn from your experience. From the small amount I've read it looks like your wife is not following the MB program at all?

The way I understood it Plan A is dependent on Plan B - i.e. you leaving. But that's easier said than done. If you choose to live in the same house then I suppose the best you can do is completely and totally mentally 'disengage' from her. A sort of plan b?) i.e. leave her in all aspects except physically removing yourself from the house. This can be achieved - I did it myself the whole of last year (which if I'm wrong and plan A works for me and my H and therefore he is NOT iredeemably abusive - I am going to feel really bad about). But anywho, in my experience complete detachment and disengagement, (whilst still being couteous and respectful)IS possible if you are still living with someone. It's not ideal but sometimes the choices in life are between crap and crappier.

I'm sorry hold. You sound very upset and down.