Originally Posted By: holdingontoit
Soolee:

I know I am DJing her by predicting how she will react. In large part, I am predicting that if I placed my unhappiness squarely in front of her on a continual basis she would divorce me rather than work on the issues between us.


I have the same fear, hold. But I do it anyway. SF isn't our problem (interesting, to me, sidenote: I put on the ENQ that I want sex 3x a week and am happy with the fulfillment of this need, H put that he wants SF 1x a week, and chose the option that when it happens, it is how he likes it, but it is not given as often as he likes...ummm...whiteboard, check-mark time! Or let Steve handle it...), but how can anything be resolved if the problems aren't brought forth???

I don't advocate for taking pity S, but if an advance by you is accepted, MILK IT. Enjoy. Remove the thoughts of the pityF from your head, and LOVE. Love her, with your whole being. This may sound odd to some folk, but I want to tell you this. When H and I got together, I felt a full spiritual connection to him. And I felt it when his spirit pulled away. And I persisted. I'd never felt that before, and I wanted to feel it again. Throw in kids, demands, etc...it's understandable, right? And then, one night well into our marriage, kids, demands, I wasn't really 'feeling it' as far as horndog goes, and we had S.

Not SF, just S, for me, at the start (I get in the mood pretty quickly).

And HE felt it. He finally felt what I'd felt. He said, "I felt you INSIDE me. You inhabited me."

(fwiw, I wasn't physically INSIDE him in any way, lol)

THAT's the sf I wish everyone had every time. But omg, once in a lifetime...I deem that quite special.

Hold, make advances, and TAKE the ones that are accepted. MAKE love. Give of your spirit, not your body.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)