Originally Posted by Soolee
I don't relate all the negative feelings or issues I deal with about their Mom because it would hurt them and I would rather just be around for them when they have questions.

Have you considered grief counseling or an individual counseling setting where you can discuss these things safely, without guilt?

Perhaps it would help you process her illness and passing and come to terms with unresolved issues in your marriage?

Interesting you say that because that is what I am attempting to do on many fronts. I have grief counselled with a counselor, pastors and mentor and weekly therapists.

The children are moving on with thier lives better than I am but thats probably to be expected because I was Dad. I offer counseling for them if they want it and encourage them to talk to people about what they feel. They also know they can come to me about any question and I will be honest and sensitive about answering them. They know I am very concerned for their lives and emotional/mind health.

Its a long process for me and from what I have read time is different for everyone. I see counselors weekly as much as I can afford it. The important thing is I am moving forward and enjoying life as much as possible. I don't expect a quick fix and I wouldn't trust one anyways. No regrets

Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. ...Sounds about right to me.