Originally Posted By: canwemakeit
are you proud of the man you are today?


No.

Originally Posted By: canwemakeit
Could you die tomorrow, with pride in having done the best with the gifts you were given?


No, I have squandered my gifts. Still, I don't fear death. Death would be a welcome relief. I fear living much more.

Originally Posted By: canwemakeit
And...do you know that your life is not yet over?


It is over. I have had all the kids I intend to have. I will never be "married happily ever after" to their mother. I have to choose between happiness and keeping my family together. My life is over either way.

It may be that your H could achieve "win-win". Perhaps he is capable of becoming the man you want him to be. And perhaps at that point you would enthusiastically meet his needs.

My wife has made it clear that she is unable to meet my needs no matter how I behave. I tried to meet her needs regardless. Eventually I felt like a wimpy doormat for behaving that way. So now I am more selfish. Not proud of that. But wouldn't be proud to continue being a doormat either. The only choice I would be proud of would be to leave. And that choice terrifies me. No, no pride here.


When you can see it coming, duck!