Originally Posted by Telly
Still_crazy,

I understand where folks are coming from. They are trying to tell you that if you find things to replace the things you are giving up for your husband... things that truly make you both happy... then you will no longer feel like those other things were sacrifices.

It's like if I give up cheeseburgers, and find that the new brand of veggie burgers tastes just as good--even better. Then you'd hear me saying "I don't even miss it" vs. "I've had to give up burgers!"

Or... let's say I really like going to restaurants, but my husband doesn't. We decide that I'm going to have one night a month with the girls, and will go to my favorite restaurants that night... And then, my husband and I take up ballroom dance or something--and I end up feeling like I don't even miss going to restaurants with him.

If you haven't had the experience of your husband negotiating things with you to the point where you both are genuinely happy, then Of COURSE you are sacrificing. I mean, it sounds like you simply no longer go to sit down restaurants, rather than talk together about what you're going to do instead.

Does this make any sense?

I do not do girls nights out and he does not do guys nights out, we do it together or we do not do it and it has been that way our entire marriage by our choice.......

And i do simply no longer go to sit down restaurants except on rare occasions that he asks me to go or i go with my kids but even then i would prefer that my H be with me and i miss him being there and enjoying the dinner with us as a family......

But guess what, it is okay, i do not resent the fact that i can't go to sit down restaurants, it is not a big deal to me, i do other things that make me happy instead.

However IMHO i am still sacrificing for the betterment of my marriage..... and i am okay with it, it is not a BAD thing......