Hi Gurka,

Thanks for sharing your story with us... it does help fill in some gaps.

One of the things that you will find here on the MB pages is that we that post here speak from our own personal experience. We share them with others that are hurting for various reasons, but believe that most that share do so in the hope that the pain that they've been through and the lessons that they've learned will help someone.

I'm not about to say that any of the posters here are wrong and that you should follow ___'s advice unless it is reinforcing the MB princples.

You are getting a lot of great information here on various situations with BH's that had a WW that was similar to your situation. Please remember that EVERY situation is different, and in the end, it is YOUR decision as to what you want to do.

The facts that the other posters have laid out to you are very similar to what I delt with with Mrs. RIF. For us, we were able to move back to the states and we were able to establish a "normal" marriage in that I wasn't constantly in the field for training, and back then , there weren't any deployments.

Mrs. RIF eventually got the counseling and medical treatment that she needed, and she eventually confessed to the A that I suspected with one of my soldiers, as well as five more that all occured while we were stationed overseas... Her confession was 10 years after her last A.

It took us about 2.5 years to rebuild our M after her confession to the other A's.

Please keep reading here and keep focusing on ending the A and plan-A'ing her when she tries to hurt you. Once she has been in NC with the OM, you can then evaluate what direction you'd like to go.

You don't have to decide today. So focus on what you can control right now, and don't worry about "what if" way down the road...

Semper Fi,

RIF