I'm sorry to be the Debbie Downer of this thread, but everything Gerk has posted about his marriage and his wife indicates that this is a woman that has big issues that aren't going to change once NC is established.

If OM disappears forever, you're still left with a woman that has massive, unresolved psych issues, huge self esteem problems, a craving for male attention, immaturity, unrealistic expectations of marriage, a broken career, and then the sloppy seconds of another man.

Gerk, I hope for a miracle, but the odds are high that you will end up divorced, but that such an outcome may ultimately the best thing that could possibly happen to you.

I could be wrong and she could suddenly see the light, go to NC, start deep therapy, and grow up massively, but that is highly unlikely.

She might be marriage material in 10 years or so, once she's been burned a few times.

You have much life to live in the meantime.

I know you wish to save your marriage and I respect that. Keep doing the thigns you're being advised to do. Just keep your expectations very low.

Understand that I'm not rooting for failure or am saying, "Rah! Rah! Divorce!"

This situation sucks to go through, especially when deployed, but getting rid of this broken woman and finding someone deserving of your love and attention once you've healed could be the greatest thing that could happen to you.

Seriously, it would be great to see a miracle, but women with your WW's personality seldom grow up and develop maturity unless they hit rock bottom first. She strikes me as one of those women that are so needy that they must have a man in their life, regardless of who it is, in order for them to feel happy.

Women that needy have massive issues.