Did she say "nothing YOU do works for me?" Did she say something anyone had done in the past HAD worked for her?

I'm glad you guys are making progress, but please realize, Hold--I do not think that it is your ability/inability. My guess is that your wife is turned on only rarely, and that she doesn't enjoy physical intimacy much at all... It's possible that even if she starts out feeling sort of aroused, that she doesn't really know how to ride the wave.

You could have all the techniques in the world, and be the most well-endowed man in the world, but if her head isn't in the right place sexually, it doesn't matter.

Having said that, there is a book that you might enjoy called "A Celebration of Sex". It is written from a Christian Perspective, but I don't think the spirituality aspect would offend you, my Jewish brother. :-)

It actually teaches a lot about sex, and I've bought it for a lot of myf friends. Many have foud it helpful.