I don't have the time right now to do justice to what I want to say.

At the moment, I am trying to use Steve Harley to get my wife to move from an attitude that Hold thinks he would envy, so I also feel a bit unqualified to give anyone advice.

This does prompt me to start a new thread, taking up on one from last year, about financial security and domestic support.

Let me say this: How much good do you think you can do the children by setting an example of an arrangement where both of you are always keeping score, and always coming up short in the eyes of each other, and of yourselves? You do realize, don't you, that until you learn to resolve the attitude problems you have now, that neither one of you will be able to find the happiness you want with any other person - so why not start changing now? Neither one of you can give this a fair shot with divorce when the children leave out there as an option, much less a goal. Don't even think about it. Give 100% effort to fixing the problems by focusing on what's good until the children are grown, then see where you are.