Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I was thinking more of putting all her stuff in a storage unit in her name, and she can come and get it whenever she wants, and I don't have to see her.

If that's the way you feel, then just divorce her.

You need to make a decision - continue with plan A/B or move to plan D. You can't half-@ss it and waver in the middle between plans. That will only guarantee you a failing marriage as well drawing it out longer and more painfully. If you aren't ready to go to plan D, then at least keep up a good plan A/B. If she makes your blood boil and can't stand her, make sure you move to plan B.

You need to figure out what you want to do when you get home, and commit to it. You need to develop a strategy and plan and focus your energy on sticking to that plan and not what her reactions to that plan are.

Personally, I think you should divorce this woman, tell her you are going to put her stuff in storage for 1 month before you toss it out and she can get it on her own time, and then change your phone number and block her email, never to speak to her again. Let your lawyer do the communicating. Completely put her out of your life, forget her, and move on.

Now if you aren't ready to take those steps, then I would work on a good plan A gesture when you got home. Take her all of her stuff, try and plan a little time to hang out with each other, really show off your plan A chops that you learned here (as well as your buffed-up physique), and then when it's over, hand her the plan B letter stating your conditions for reconciliation, change your phone number, block her email, and have a family member or friend be your intermediary.

Those should be your two choices. Which one do you want to choose? Make up your mind and commit to it. Not committing to any plan will just guarantee a longer, more painful, more drawn out divorce, and I'm sure you don't want that.


BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story