We chatted for a few minutes last night on the phone. We agreed that we are better off than 90%+ of the people in the world but neither of us will stop beating the other person up for what they can't provide.

When I got home Mrs. Hold continued to be chilly. I spent an hour with her but then got tired of being rejected so I left to play PS3. Woke up this morning and she rolled over into the "maybe you can snuggle with me if you don't press for sex" position. Usually I find that irresistable. Today I was not even tempted to roll toward her, much less touch her. I am starting to despise myself for wanting to touch her. For settling for crumbs. I could tell after I got up to get ready for work that she was confused by my refusal to roll toward her. She was looking for affirmation that I am still hooked.

I told her she is beautiful and wished her a nice day. She smiled. It never ceases to amaze me how willing she is to live in denial.