But that is not the truth. The truth is that things have to change or I will be miserable. But I won't leave even if I am miserable. She despises me for not having enough guts to leave. But she likes the status quo so she is perfectly willing to allow me to stay miserable if it keeps her in her house and not having to work.

If I said I was divorcing her, would she provide more sex? Almost certainly not. You should have seen how she freaked out last night when I suggested she was overly sensitive to pressure. No, she would get angry and make the divorce a living h3ll for me.

It is very clear to me that I am being abused. Or at least reacting like a victim of abuse. I see what the other person is doing. I see how they control me through fear. And I continue to allow it. I don't see myself as strong and empowered. I don't feel like I can file for divorce and get a good lawyer and get a decent settlement. I feel powerless. Just like a victim of abuse. And even seeing it, I continue to let it happen.