Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I keep getting frustrated by her nasty emails. And then a couple days pass and I'm back to not wanting to be the one that gave up. If she wants to single handedly push a divorce on someone that's willing to forgive and work on the marriage, I think that's something that will catch up with her eventually.

I haven't written anything back to her, I'm feeling pretty indecisive.


You need to snap out of your own fog. First of all, you will NEVER be the one that gave up. NEVER. You might be the one that accepted that your WW will not change, but that is a HUGE difference. Secondly, you are delusional if you think her pushing divorce on someone that's willing to forgive and work on the marriage will catch up with her anymore so than if you gave up now. I don't know what the fascination with her being the "bad guy" that pushed through the divorce even though you did everything to try and stop it. If anything you are going to make her regret her decision less by half-heartedly stonewalling her on the divorce while you secretly want her to keep pushing because you are frustrated with her but want her to be the one that actually does all the work for the divorce to sooth your conscience.

You need to $hit or get off the pot. Make a decision. Either full out plan A until you take her the stuff and see her before going into plan B, or go straight to plan D. Anything half-hearted in the middle will only make your situation worse. Your love bank is depleted. You no longer have much plan A left in you. Either transition to plan B, or just move forward with the divorce. Otherwise you'll just be wasting your time and justifying her current actions. She'll feel justified for divorcing you after months of you passively-agressively resisting divorce and conflict avoiding.

Right now all your doing is just sabotaging your previous months of effort.


BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story