I honestly don't remember how, but I found MB almost a year ago. My marriage had hit a low point (no affair, but our love banks were dangerously low). We were on edge with each other and feeling hopelessly disconnected. We weren't understanding the other person; where they were coming from, what they wanted, and we didn't know how to FEEL the love again. We both knew the love was there in but couldn't bring it to the fore-front because we were both so hurt and frustrated.

Scotty's story was the first thread I read here. It took me three days but I read every post. I cried and felt pain for her. I was also overwhelmed by the support system on MB. I started reading other threads and all of the FREE information on this site.

The concepts Dr. Harley writes about seem so simple and so basic, but I couldn't see them on my own. Reading SAA threads was a supplement to the MB concepts he posts on here (again, for FREE). It truly helped me to see my husbands POV and recognize what I was doing wrong. It helped me to truly recognize that I could only change myself, so I did. I put the MB program into practice and committed to filling up my husband's love bank. While we've had highs and lows over the last 9 months, the changes I see in us and in him are like night and day. And this is without DH even reading the MB material (although I have mentioned the site before).

It's not right for others to come here and make suggestions that don't follow the MB program guidelines. Like others have said, this said is paid for and managed by Dr. Harley to share his concepts. Mentioning other books is okay if they are presented as supplemental, but the "bible" should be MB books.

I owe Dr. Harley so much more than I will ever be able to repay. I could cry enough tears to fill a swimming pool I feel so much gratitude to him and the material and support he offers here. Just the fact that his concepts are here FREE for anyone to read and learn from tells me he wants to see everyone succeed in their marriage. I have shared this place with friends and strangers alike because I believe in the principles so strongly.

We are ALL so fortunate to be here and I think everyone posting should respect Dr. Harley and his program. Respect those who come here looking for help by guiding them through MB. Teaching MB principles is the best gift we could give a person who needs our help to either improve or recover their marriage. Like Prisca said "The Five Love Languages, while nice, didn't save our marriage. Marriage Builders did."


Me 33
DH 35
Together 14 years, married 12
Two "furry children" (one cat & one dog)

MB has changed me and changed my life. I am becoming a better person for it, and building a better marriage. MB principles can truly help you create the love and the life you want.