Originally Posted by Bubbles4U
Maybe ask yourself this:

"What is the worst that could happen if I let him go on two short business trips a year?"

Most likely letting him go on a couple trips and one party a year...with your blessing...would not be worse..... than an ugly DIVORCE.

Bubbles, I'm suprised with a question like this.....

What's the worst that can happen?

As I understand MB, the goal here is to restore romantic love. Nobody restores romantic love by giving sacrifical blessings. Sacrificing is the antithesis of successfully practicing The MB Program.

CWMI's H is practicing half measures by lying. Lying is also a Love Buster! Honesty is NOT a Love Buster. CWMI has been honest about her needs and her H has deceived her and pretended to meet her needs.... Actually he betrayed her. He lied about an extraordinary precaution that CWMI needed in order to feel loved and cared about by him.

When we allow a boundary to be moved as a sacrifice, we establish a dangerous precedent that will do more harm to "us" than to our spouse. Eventually the lack of boundaries/EP's will erode the marriage and put the love bank in to a negative balance. A slow death of the M is the result.

Bubbles, you asked, what's the worst that can happen? Well, creating an environment for an affair to occur is much worse than establishing boundaries IMHO. Your spouse betraying you and actually having an affair can be worse than a divorce too.

I believe CWMI's vent about being duped was a legit. vent. She was lied to and betrayed by her H. I hope others will come along side of her and help her practice Dr. H's program in a practicle way instead of attempting to lay on inappropriate guilt for having boundaries and needs.

just my .02




Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.