Hey, CWMI, have you sat down with your husband and asked him to spend about a page writing out exactly how he views a marriage should be? As in the roles of man vs woman and what is acceptable and what is not?

I just have this feeling that both of you have this 50/50 view of marriage where for about half the ideals you share the other half y'all are polar opposite. It sounds like he does not buy into part of what you believe and then the reverse is true for you also. However, neither of you feel you are in the wrong so y'all have this stand still where you're upset with having to settle and I have a feeling that he feels like he has to settle also.

I also have the feeling that he feels like he's ripping his hair out also. Of course, I'm not inside your husbands head but I very much doubt that he wants to be divorced. He just might feel your expectations of marriage are too much for him. He might even feel overwhelmed.

I think it might behoove you to ask him to write down exactly what's in his head.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)