Given her history with money I don't think you even needed to share your choice with her. Had Mrs. H not continued to over spend and lie to you after the initial discovery then perhaps she would have earned your trust when it comes to money, but that's not the case.

You want to protect your children, so should she. If she can't see this choice as a way to do that she is truly being selfish and greedy.

Make the change and don't bother to discuss it further. If she can take out a life insurance policy on you and make herself beneficiary that's her choice. Ask the father if he will take her back. ;-)

Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT