11 O Lord, please rescue me from the hand of my brother, Esau. I am afraid that he is coming to attack me, along with my wives and children.
Esau had carelessly given away his birthright to Jacob to satisfy his physical hunger for food. Jacob in turn, with the help of his mother, fooled his father into blessing him instead of Esau in order to obtain Esau�s birthright. Jacob fled because he feared Esau and the issues between them went unresolved. It was now many years later and Jacob was about to face Esau who he had feared for so many years.
Unresolved conflict will affect us until the conflict is resolved. Jacob fled home because he feared retaliation from Esau for tricking his father into blessing him instead of Esau. Jacob lived in that fear and many years later the fear still controlled him. Often we wonder why someone will keep bringing up a past argument in the midst of another argument. Most often it is because the person felt the issue was unresolved and they still live in their own fear. They never felt as though their feelings were heard and acknowledged. They are in conflict and fear pulls at their weakest emotions. The easiest way to help someone resolve that conflict is to ask them to talk about their past anger and intently listen to them. Confirm what you heard them say by repeating back in your own words. It is not important whether you agree with them or not; this is about how they feel, not how you feel. So put aside any discussion you may want to bring up for a later time. Express your sorrow for their pain and suffering. Let them know you care and help remove their fear. Once they know their fears have been acknowledged it will be easier for them to let go of the past. Remember you don�t have to agree with someone to acknowledge their feelings and express sorrow over their emotions. Feeling as though we have to defend ourselves is a problem we ourselves need to work on. Let go of your defensive feelings and listen.