I am really glad to have found this thread. I posted a thread about intimacy on the surviving an affair thread but have had little response....probably because I am a FWW and not many people like to make responses to us. Maybe I can find some answers and support here.

I will try to be brief but feel you need an overview of my history. I am a FBS (my husband had an A with my best friend about 11 years ago). We moved past this and tried to rebuild the marriage (didn't use MB principals but our counselor was very close to MB principals. Then about 5 years ago I had a PA with someone I met thru work. We didn't actually work together on a daily basis. H found out, NC was established and we moved from the city and NC has not been broken. Obviously we tried to recover but I was unhappy. Since then I have had several EA with people over the internet. There has been no PA at all. H found out about these. Each time, I was remorseful and I myself could not really understand why I did it (other than poor boundaries). There has been NC with anyone and I have established to be sure I do not fall back into the pattern. It has been 7 months. My H and I are trying very hard to make our marriage work. We have been married 20 years. The problem we have is this......I am struggling with sex. I have never had a huge sex drive....it is my H #1 need. We have spent LOTS of time discussing this as being his need. I feel unworthy of even asking for my needs to be met. Its not that I deny him sex, but I'm sure he can tell that I'm not in to it. He has started saying that he would rather not if I am not going to be totally into it. I wish I could just flip a switch and make this better. I am struggling and really do need some advice. Please help!