Well, lets not get carried away. I was cleaning some papers off my desl today. Saw the most recent statement for Mrs. Hold's credit card. I knew I had given it to her so she could go to BJs last month, because we were low on paper goods. Turns out she spent $250 at BJs (about what I expected), and then spent $500 at other places that afternoon. So after paying $500 toward her balance the past 2 months, we are back where we started. I know, I know, my fault for giving her the card at all.

I noticed this just as I was about to walk out the door to join her for lunch. We rarely have lunch together, but she had errands to run downtown today so after the cuddling this morning she asked if I was free for lunch. Needless to say, lunch was somewhat subdued after I mentioned the credit card issue to her. I framed it all as "I" statements. How bad I feel when I see the balance. How much stress I feel. We tried to stay pleasant and upbeat, but there was an invisible wall between us.

On the way out from lunch, she said she doesn't want to go to NYC for New Year's this year. Normally my sister and BIL go to Florida, and we crash in their apartment. She said we can't afford to go to shows, so she would rather stay home. I suggested we go, and do low cost things like museums. She said she would rather sleep in her own bed. We'll see how she feels when we get closer to the event.

Darn. Darn. Darn. Should never have given her the card to go to BJs. Should have given her $250 in cash and told her that was all I had. I can't believe I am still making the same mistakes 10 years later.

When you can see it coming, duck!