tccoastguard: How did she react?
She said I was wrong. That she gives me lots of hugs. Then she gave me a quick squeeze and when I tried to pull her closer she pulled away. But that was yesterday. Today is a new day.

Interesting development this morning. Mrs. Hold was talking to me about her conversation last night with S16. He has been unhappy lately. Even when he scored 4 goals in 2 jv games and the coach moved him up to varsity, he was sad. So we took him to a counsellor. S16 explained that he puts pressure on himself to "win" at everything. We tell him "just try your best and that is good enough" but he feels he has to be perfect.

S16 mentioned me during his talk with the counsellor last night. S16 said "he went to great schools and he is a great guy and he has a great family but he feels like a total failure because he doesn't make $1 million per year". Which is all true.

After explaining all this to me, Mrs. Hold said "my new plan is to show you a bit of affection every day before you leave for work. Would you like a hug?" Then she gave me a nice hug.

Wow. 18+ years of marriage. 8 years of MC. 5 years of post-MC emptiness. At no point does she show any signs that she accepts that her lack of affection might affect me negatively. But 1 day after S16 admits that my depression is affecting him. Suddenly it is a high priority for her that I not feel like such a failure.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

When you can see it coming, duck!