I agree with you and that is where I am stuck. If she had just come here complaining about her husband and not looking for solutions then I would agree it a selfish reason to divorce; however, they have counseled with the best.

If she is not willing to leave then what possible motivation would he have to change anything?

My DH and I actually had a discussion about his lack of affection and non interaction with myself and the kids. He stated that that was "just the way I am." We also discussed his unwillingness to be involved in things important to me like church. Once again, "I don't believe that stuff."

After my A, he attends church regulary (even teaches Sunday School), is home by bedtime 6/7 nights. Only goes out with friends (male) once or twice a month as opposed to 3-4 times a week. He is by no means the "ideal" husband but one I am happy to work with. The problem is of course, he may never recover from my A and I am always a bit resentful to learn he is capable of trying...just wasn't willing

Maybe a plan B will work, and if it doesn't, then she knows she is better off.