Originally Posted by CWMI
RMJ, are you saying that you match his detachment with detachment of your own?

I am a fiercely loyal and loving person...on the flip side, I can also be fiercely unloving and completely not give a hoot (knock the dust from my shoes, walk away w/o a second thought). I don't think I'm capable of being in a marriage where I am detached from my spouse without finding an attachment elsewhere.

We've been snowed in all week. H didn't return to work until yesterday, so he was here for four straight days and it was really nice.

I understood RMJ to be saying that her problem was that she was/is present in her marriage and her dh is not. That if they were both more detached there would not be a problem. ? Don't know....curious now to hear what she says.

CWMI in my previous marriage I came to the conclusion I was never going to get what I wanted from him. I did detach somewhat...and I focused on other areas of my life....other people...while maintaining good boundaries with other men. If he hadn't cheated on me I would never have divorced him. However, I can not believe how wonderful a good relationship is. It does make me a little angry that I went without a good marriage for so many years. But I did what I felt was right, so I don't regret my decision to stay so long.