ThornedRose, I think your assessment is a little harsh.

I don't believe Hold cares to control anyone.

I think he sufferes from chronic boredom.

And that's okay if you think I'm being a little harsh, but from having been reading this threads over all these years, he's had the same complaints..radical honesty is often times harsh...

1. She wants a certain lifestyle..he knows he is fully capable of providing the life style--heck he enjoys that lifestyle too..but he refuses to do what it takes to provide it, in order to make her mad..why?? because of his other complaints about her over the years...

2. He's not getting sex as often as he wants it..so I'll control the amount of money that comes into the house until she starts having sex with me as often as *I* want it..

3. She's fat..she needs to lose weight.she's remedied this and has taken that complaint off the table

4. She's not working--she's remedied that as well, and got a job--heck she's even changed some of her ways of spending, and found less expensive venues--

but even those changes are not good enough for him to change himself--

he has in fact done things to punish her for her lavish spending in the past, and her lack of sexual interest in him (what woman finds a self-loathing man attractive or sexually desirable?? what wife finds a husband who puts a money value on sex attractive or desirable??)

He is a tit-for-tat type person..(just from reading his posts over the years, its evident)

if she has sex w/ me x number of times--then I'll buy her that piece of Jewelry I know she wants from Tiffany's..

he loathes her for spending thousands of dollars after they married to furnish *their* home..(money he saved before they married)

he prefers to sulk and whine about not having sex as often as HE wants as opposed to changing himself--he'd rather control the amount of money coming into the home as a way to punish her for his not getting sex as often as he'd like it..

Most assuredly, she could use sex to get the things she wants..she could have sex with the man everyday...but why should she prostitute herself like that to someone who professes to love her??? Have sex for trinkets? have sex for more money to be provided?? how insulting for her as both a woman and his wife..

he has said in the past he feels like an ATM, yet he is the one who has placed a 'money' value on his love, and even sex within the confines of their marriage--yet he wants to cast blame on her for the lack of sex in their marriage..no woman, no wife wants to be treated as a prostitute in their marriage 'earning trinkets' for sex..

While both sex and financial support are important aspects of marriage, neither one should be used to manipulate or get what you want from the other person..

So he must ask himself...is she really refusing to have sex with him because he's not providing financially the way he is fully capable of providing? or because she refuses to be treated as nothing more than a prostitute???

Well, given some of the comments he has shared over the years, I would boldly say..she refuses to be treated as a prostitute in her marriage..and she will continue to refrain from having sex with him as long as he ties money and trinkets to that aspect of their marriage..

Simul Justus Et Peccator
“Righteous and at the same time a sinner.”
(Martin Luther)