[quote=holdingontoit)Infidelity tends to render the status quo intolerable. So it makes sense that people in GQII and SAA are seeking resolution one way or the other. Those of us who are "merely" being neglected (or neglecting our spouses) are much more likely to be willing to tolerate the status quo. [/quote]

This makes total sense to me. My DH was/is depressed like Hold. After my A he made amazing changes to himself but now we are sliding back to the status quo. It is scary and difficult to make yourself make changes....like pulling off a band aid. Intellectually you know it is the right thing but....what if you are wrong? I don't want to be without my kids...even part time.