Originally Posted By: MrNiceGuy
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972

When you say "no real infidelity" are you referring to your own situation or mine?

Mine .. because neither one of us knew what an EA was until we discovered MB.

Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972

I'm trying not to be so needy and insecure so I'm heading out to watch baseball with a buddy which I stopped doing in an effort to force the issue with her each night! I also called her good friend so that she could go out Thursday night for some fun as well.


Was she enthusiastic about this? Reason I ask is because your most enjoyable times should be spent together. There is a recreational enjoyment inventory that you can download and fill out together. It will help you guys identifiy activities that you both enjoy so you can spend some "fun" time together reconnecting at a social level to begin being intimate again.

Recreational inventoy link - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4505_rei.html

Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972

Do you mind, without telling me the details, what things you see in your marriage that I have to look forward to and day dream about?


Sure! I will tell you this much. Over the last 2 months especially since we have finished the love busters book, she has been apologizing for her negative behaviours and love busters! Well we have been together for 16 years (im 32) and this year she has apologized to me more than she has ever in our entire relationship! Like about 6 or 7 times now. Usually its me keeping the peace .. even if i feel im right and doing the apologizing. This didnt start happening though until her love bank for me was well into the green.

She now meets my top 5 needs on a fairly consistant basis. Especially since she has been taking maca root. It has totally helped her energy levels.

She told me to keep track of her cycle and warn her of her PMS week. She likes this because then it helps her identify her own unbalanced feelings. And is no longer offended when i mention its coming up.

SF has become amazing and is to the point now where shes initiating it often enough that i no longer feel like im starving emotionally anymore. Kinda like she knows im going to be hungry soon so she "feeds me" before it effects my mood. So it is becoming easier to initiate for her because im no longer "suffocating" her or "smothering" her as she used to indicate alot and associate it with my "neediness". She understands now its not just physical, but that us guys get the same emotional feelings that they do when they get intimate conversation.

So just keep doing your thing ... POJA EVERYTHING! ... fill her emotional needs as often as you can .. blow her mind. Stop reacting emotionally to her when she is being emotional. Be her "rock" and before ya know it .. it will all fall into place and you'll feel like you just met again and the puppy love will come back.

smile

p.s. Your getting better at your "quoting" too .. good job!



I read a consistently theme in here which is the use of the word "we" as it pertains to reading the books, working the program, etc. I'd love there to be a "we" in all of this and there might be one day but for now I think I am so far in the negative in terms of her LB that I'm just not gonna get that commitment like I want it. Things are pleasant the last two days, but the workbook during our last fight was thrown to the ground by her. I won't take too much offense to it. I think it has more to do with me pressing too much and "teaching" her about Dr H's program which cause her, not an outright rejection of the principles, you know? I've gotta get out of the red and into the green before I can push her to dive into this with me. I would love to do the 15 hours with her but I don't think she wants to with me. This is hurtful. If anyone can think of some other ways to get her more likely to read the books I'm all ears.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD