but needless to say this was very disappointing and a huge step backwards.

Hill, I know you are disappointed. But you are going to need to let your logical and rational side take control and keep you following a proven plan to reestablish intimacy in your relationship. If you let your emotions take charge you will bog down in your own personal disappointment and you guys will stay this way and get worse.

Hill, have you ever heard that women tend to be more emotional and men tend to be more logical? There's some truth to that, to the point that many women are rightly annoyed at their husbands over it. But that's based on looking at "typical" men and "typical" women. Nobody is truly "typical."

Some men tend to be more emotional than other men. More things bother them. You know, in a good relationship, a woman can still usually list a lot of things that bother her, while a typical man isn't bothered by anything! All the things that bother him disappear when the relationship is good, because his mind simply blocks it out. While a woman's mind usually doesn't work that way.

But some of us men are more easily bothered than others.

It is hard for a typical logical man to learn to "put up with" his emotional wife.

But it is far, far more difficult for a typical emotional woman to learn to PUT UP WITH an atypical emotional man.

Because you tend to be this way, your wife has a much harder job to do than most wives. She is going to have to work a lot harder to learn how to meet your emotional needs effectively, negotiate with you, and avoid love busting you. You have a lower threshold for being bothered!

There's nothing wrong with that. I'm that way myself. smile But it does mean that your wife needs a big giant MEDAL, every day, just for being your wife. Awarded by you. She needs to hear from you that you know you are a difficult man to live with and that you appreciate what she is going through to live with you.

The good news is, emotional men can have really, really good and passionate marriages. But you won't get there if you aren't rational about planning to get there, and if you don't stick to the plan.

If you have ever trouble appreciating your wife, just look back to your most recent disrespectful judgments (which were moments ago), and realize what you are putting her through.

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.