Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I'm an afterthought to my wife. It feels horrible. Her words, her body language, all of it speaks, " look I'll get around to finding you important when I get to it, back off.".

This would be called a DJ. Stop inferring things. However you can state how you feel. "Honey, I'm feeling lonely and unimportant. I'd appreciate it if we could have some alone time together after the kids are down."

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How can I want to keep giving to that person? I'll work on how I approach being brutally honest I for sure showed impatience.

Don't show impatience. Use drive-by honesty without being rude and impatience. State what you need and not necessarily what she is doing wrong. Have you ever had a hobby that you did for fun without any expect of return. For right now view this as a hobby with ferver.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)