My suggestion is that you take the word "but" out of your thinking on this.

Admit that you go about it all wrong, and discover that you don't have to go about it this way any more and that there is no longer any excuse for going about it all wrong.

Do you really want a better relationship? Is that really all you want?

Do you really want a better relationship enough to make eliminating these disrespectful judgments a high priority?

Because there is literally no other path to get what you want. There are other paths you can try, but they will not work. You can try really hard to motivate your wife to meet your emotional needs in the face of your love busters, but you will simply burn her out. There is no way she can keep at that forever.

While you have her attention and while she is working so hard to follow the advice given here and to work this program with you, you have a limited window of opportunity. If you do not show her that you can change, that you have changed, and that the change is permanent, do not expect her to continue keeping up this pace.