Hill, you sound like you're making great progress. My family has a habit of making witty, but very sarcastic remarks. Ultimately it's mean-spirited and hurts people's feelings. I've had to retrain myself out of that, perhaps its the same for you.

On the honey-do thing, it might help to respond immediately to the request with something like "yeah, I notice the x is broken. I need to get parts from the hardware store to fix it. Can this wait until the weekend (or whenever)?" Her response will give you a clue as to the urgency of the thing.

We have a whiteboard for grocery store requests, maybe the honeydo list could be something like that?