This is one of the reasons it's dangerous to bring up DJs on the fly. The temptation is to argue that it's not a disrespectful judgment.

Plus, no matter how disrespectful your wife is, she doesn't want to be talking about DJs all the time, even if she's doing them all the time. Once a week is realistically about all people can take. So getting a written worksheet once a week is a lot safer than being told a DJ happened every time it happened.

What are you guys doing to continue to dig into the Marriage Builders material? There is definitely some material in Love Busters that will help get across the idea that we need to take it seriously when our spouse feels disrespected, even if we disagree, but it is a DJ for you to try to educate Grace on that fact and it would be far better for her to come across it herself in reading the material.