Originally Posted by DaisyTheCat2
Another thought from watching what just happened in my office: Your H may not have anyone supportive in his environment. Where I work there are two men who have what I observe is a good marriage. One guy is the boss, so no one gives him a hard time about it. But the other guy is constantly being teased about not being �the man of the house� because he won�t commit to outings with the guys without spousal approval and a lot of times skips our weekly office lunch because his wife called him at the last minute. As the only female, I think it�s awesome. But I could sooooo totally understand how a man in that kind of environment wouldn�t want to admit to choosing his wife.

That is a respect issue, that the boss gets no crap but subordinate does. Do you respect the sub? Do you see how the other guys don't? Do you think kow-towing earns respect? I don't.

I don't know how to answer your other questions from your previous post. I've seen him develop interests based on what other people are interested in, and he even claimed an ethnic heritage I had no clue about and am still unsure of, since nobody else in his family claims this heritage and it's a questionable situation involving a crime that was never reported...anyway, that was nuts and he was angry at me for asking for clarification on what he was saying, since I *thought* at that point I knew his family history, but all of a sudden he was Hispanic because the person we were with was Hispanic. Um, wha??? My head spins. He YELLED at me, "My mother's father was Hispanic!" and I responded, Your mother's maiden name is IRISH. So he told all of us that his grandmother was raped by a Mexican. Was news to me, would have liked to get that in private. I think he would have liked it that way, too. He does tan very well, unlike me, who is Irish and has no raped grandmothers.

Anyway...as far as what he really wants? I kinda think he does want to be unencumbered and free to do as he pleases, at his whim. We are messy, and he is OCD. We interfere with his life. If he was married to a golddigger, he'd be a perfect husband. He told a therapist before MB that he thought his contribution to the family was money, and that's it. What should be EXPECTED as his contribution, that is.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)