Originally Posted by CWMI
I second markos on the valuable information stuff, Hill. I have the same problem here in my house...I'll voice a complaint, and rather than having it addressed, my H takes it as a criticism and shuts down. BAD move if you want to be married. If she doesn't like her coffee strong, DON'T MAKE IT STRONG. Easy! That's one of the easiest things to resolve. Do you CARE if she enjoys her coffee? Or do you care more about your own need for admiration, regardless of her feelings?

How many complaints would you say you voice to your husband on a daily basis? If he makes the cup of coffee correctly do you say nothing? Do you provide feedback that "its just the way I like it?" Does that make sense what I wrote to Markos that the criticism "must be made?" Very rarely do I feel based on my wife's comments back to me that I've done much correctly. The coffee recipe changes by the week, different bags, different flavors, sometimes dry creamer, sometimes french vanilla cream in liquid form, etc. This time it was one 1/2 scoops with three cups of water. I'll never forget it, but what about when the next flavor comes through the pipe? Dr Harley said effort is better even if you do something wrong for men. Well the feedback would point to me mostly doing things wrong, so it is very difficult to keep up that momentum day in and day out. In fact it is overwhelming. Do I care if my wife enjoys her coffee? Of course I do, I got up in the morning specifically to make us coffee to get an extra 15 minutes together of UA time. It was too strong, I offered to remake it, she declined the offer, live and learn.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD