Originally Posted by Prisca
You know what Prisca, I have no idea what she is enthusiastic about. You know how I know? Because she won't ever answer me. I send her a text asking if we could do massages and yahtzee last night and she responds back with, you need to get a vasectomy. I email her about some suggested dates we can schedule wine, no wine, scrabble, who makes dinner, etc, she doesn't answer me. If I point blank ask her what she'd like to do she says, "I don't know what do you want to do?" So I make suggestions, they mostly go unanswered, shot down, or put in the "we'll see" box to never be addressed again.
You missed my question. Why would she be enthusiastic about anything?

I'll tell you what she's enthusiastic about: NOTHING. You know why? Because you are in the habit of gaining at her expense. You will not follow POJA. There's no reason for her to be enthusiastic about anything that has to do with you.

You want her enthusiasm? Start following POJA. Let her know you are going to protect her and never willingly gain at her expense again. Start today.

I know she isn't enthusiastic about anything. I have the exact same feeling towards her. Specifically what can I call and ask or text my wife about what to expect tonight? I don't mean about wine, I just mean tonight after the kids go down we have time to spend together, usually two hours. I want to plan and agree now how we spend it so we both know what to expect. She may not want to spend anytime with me and I'm prepared for that answer too, but for now I need some direction on what verbage I would use with my wife.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD