Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I know she isn't enthusiastic about anything. I have the exact same feeling towards her. Specifically what can I call and ask or text my wife about what to expect tonight?

Goodness, no; that would sound sarcastic and disrespectful.

Do this instead: come up with two proposed activities. Make one something NEW that you think she would enjoy, and one something that you've done before that she knows she enjoys. Contact her and say "I'd like to spend some time with you tonight. I was thinking of either X or Y."

If she doesn't like one of those, come back with more suggestions.

If you don't have something picked by the time the kids are asleep, invite her to play Scrabble, and talk talk TALK. Without demands, disrespect, anger, or independent behavior, of course.


This is the kind of stuff I needed, specific suggestions I can follow through with. I'll do it. By the way, my heart is beating, pulse is racing, and I feel fear just by doing this. Prisca might think I'm a wuss, but I don't really care, the feeling is real. I'd rather be presenting a sales presentation in front of 20 strangers.

I understand the feeling.

Take heart; you'll never fall in love with strangers, but you will fall in love with Grace. smile

BTW, it sounds to me like Grace is not enthusiastic with you drinking wine at all. Clear it out of the house and quit buying it. Find some other recreational activities that you both think are super.

My wife loves nice wine like I do, but it is a streaky thing. If she is running or dieting it is out, if she isn't and is stressed it is usually in. Whether it be wine or scrabble, I think all activities have ceased being as fun as they used to together which is part of the problem. Wine used to be about romance together, not anymore. We haven't been enjoying each other's company and always arguing so we both engage in IB because we don't want to be miserable. As childish as it is I "hide" upstairs, in the living room, in parking lots, just to avoid her. My mentality walking in the door is that of defensiveness. How fun is the night gonna be when I start out with that attitude.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD