My wife loves nice wine like I do, but it is a streaky thing. If she is running or dieting it is out, if she isn't and is stressed it is usually in. Whether it be wine or scrabble, I think all activities have ceased being as fun as they used to together which is part of the problem.

That is because both of your love bank balances are deep in the red. You have both abused each other, and you're both wounded.

Wine used to be about romance together, not anymore. We haven't been enjoying each other's company and always arguing so we both engage in IB because we don't want to be miserable. As childish as it is I "hide" upstairs, in the living room, in parking lots, just to avoid her.
I would "hide" by going shopping. I would "hide" in front of the TV. I suspect your wife does the same with the TV, since that seemed to be taking up a lot of your time together for awhile. She seems to "hide" with her gardening, too, as far as it looks from here.

Markos would do the parking lot thing.

We all do it, when we're hurting. Our feelings tell us to sooth ourselves, protect ourselves, make ourselves feel good about something in life.

You're going to have to override your feelings with your thoughts for awhile. "Yes, I want to hide out in a parking lot and eat a bucket load of fried chicken (markos :D), but I'm going to go home with a smile on my face, a gift in my hands, and an evening planned that will crack the door to my wife's heart open. And I will do it again tomorrow. And the next day. Until she opens up completely."

Markos' Wife
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband