Yes, she needs to realize that failure to meet her husband's EN of SF is a threat to the marriage, but it sounds as if she has unfulfilled ENs besides that of honesty. I doubt she is withholding sex just to be mean. Hill and his wife definitely need to get the bc issue sorted out, but I also think his wife is more likely to respond to her H's need for SF if her EN for affection is being fulfilled.

Communicating his need lovingly rather than as a demand or a threat is likely to elicit better results.

Me: BW,56
Him: WH,57
DD#1 25 yrs ago
DD#2 7 yrs ago
DD#3 May 12