Originally Posted By: heartfelt_1


What I did NOT say was: Yes, you are correct. I thought many times about how I might **[SF]** your friend. Whether he "loves" me or not is not the issue. I realize that I don't "love" him, either, for that matter. But I thought I did. Yes, I thought I loved your friend. You should stop being friends with this person because everytime I see him and everytime I hear his name, I remember those feelings I had. Have. My boundaries have been compromised and I want to rebuild them. I need to rebuild them for us and for our family.

<-- Don't make me say it. Can you come up with something...nicer?


I would say this, but in a more forthright manner. You do alot of qualifying and beating around the bush. Your language is confusing and puts your feelings in the past. Your feelings are not in the past when you are triggered. I think you have to be radically honest because what you did say has left your H not understanding the issue. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND, therefore he has no understanding of how dangerous this is to him. So you have be more forthright.


"Yes, you are correct. I thought many times about how I might **[SF]** your friend. Whether he "loves" me or not is not the issue, the issue is my infatuation with him. I realize that I don't "love" him, either, for that matter. But I thought I did. Yes, I thought I loved your friend. You should stop being friends with this person because Everytime I see him and everytime I hear his name, my feelings of love and infatuation are triggered. I remember those feelings I had. This directly affects the way I feel about you, because my emotions are comparing you to an infatuation. I want to be in love with you and this is hurting the love I feel for you.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101