It sounds like Mr CWMI has found a loophole and is finangling it for all he's worth. Its the loophole of "if I can claim that I thought you really agreed then I can do whatever I want without POJA."

As you might expect he is probably relying on the fact that you won't want to lose the $400 application fee, and so will go along with it. This is probably not marriage builders worthy advice, but if you can handle it I'd lose the $400 in order to make the point that this is not ok.

What does Dr. Harley have to say about spouses who continually break POJA, or refuse to stick to agreements? There must be something on the site about that.