Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 42 of 45 1 2 40 41 42 43 44 45
BrainHurts #2632497 06/04/12 08:07 PM
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,525
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,525
Likes: 9
Oh, it was a radio clip! I thought I'd read it in print. I don't know how you do this, Brainy, but you're a marvel. Thank you!


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
SugarCane #2632498 06/04/12 08:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Dr Harley's fast driving comes up frequently on that show! It is too funny!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


SugarCane #2632510 06/04/12 08:43 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,429
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,429
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Oh, it was a radio clip! I thought I'd read it in print. I don't know how you do this, Brainy, but you're a marvel. Thank you!

I learned from Mel.

lashes kiss

Hopefully CWMI will like it!


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2632527 06/04/12 09:44 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
CWMI Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Oh, it was a radio clip! I thought I'd read it in print. I don't know how you do this, Brainy, but you're a marvel. Thank you!

I learned from Mel.

lashes kiss

Hopefully CWMI will like it!

Mr. CWMI didn't! I loved it, ty! I think we are in another brain fart cycle. Luckily, I am Chuck Norris about this stuff, or maybe Clint Eastwood? Either way, get with the program or get offa my lawn.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
CWMI #2632563 06/05/12 02:14 AM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by CWMI
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Oh, it was a radio clip! I thought I'd read it in print. I don't know how you do this, Brainy, but you're a marvel. Thank you!

I learned from Mel.

lashes kiss

Hopefully CWMI will like it!

Mr. CWMI didn't! I loved it, ty! I think we are in another brain fart cycle. Luckily, I am Chuck Norris about this stuff, or maybe Clint Eastwood? Either way, get with the program or get offa my lawn.

That would be Clint Eastwood in Gran Turino, ma'am.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
MelodyLane #2632647 06/05/12 09:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Dr Harley's fast driving comes up frequently on that show! It is too funny!

My favorite is the one where on the way into the radio station that morning, Dr. Harley decided to try to take his sweater off in traffic in a construction zone. Joyce was NOT enthusiastic about that, and he said she may have even been a little demanding and disrespectful!!!

laugh

(By the way, around here, we call that activity "Pulling a Del Griffith," and Prisca is usually not too enthusiastic about it, either, for some reason.)


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2632706 06/05/12 12:29 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
CWMI Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
I feel better today. smile

I am also petrified of driving/riding next to concrete barriers on the freeway, and he's been awesome about being mindful about that. Last weekend we went out to a real nice dinner, just the two of us in the city, and on the way home he passed a car, putting us next to the wall, and without me saying a word, he said, "Just for a second, as soon as I get past this guy, I'll move back over." And he did, and I thanked him, and he wasn't speeding or anything.

With the boat, we were told it was the most efficient at 3500rpm. As some of you may remember, Steve felt that H showed qualities of OCD. I think that may part of the issue here, that H tries to keep it at 3500rpm whether conditions warrant it or not. I can't see him hearing that his car is most efficient at 60mph and attempting to maintain that speed in traffic or on a dirt road or a mountain pass. I don't know how many of you are boaters, but getting into cruiser wake at 3500rpm(about 30mph) is like driving down a rutted dirt road at 60mph, lol.

We talked about the dog people--I told him I felt unsupported when he said I was rude to them, when I felt they were rude by refusing to accomodate our comfort by leashing their dog in public, and then that girl mocking me. He said he didn't want it to end up in a fight, and I get that, it's part of our personality differences. I've already had words with a couple on the dock about leashing their dog that was in my (leashed) dog's face that security got involved in. He is the peacekeeper and I am the poop-stirrer, at least when it comes to complete strangers.

Most of the time, it works for us. He admires me for standing up when he would rather walk away, I appreciate his calming sense that has probably kept me out of more brawls than any middle-aged woman should ever get close to, much less start. Lol.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
CWMI #2632859 06/05/12 05:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 231
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 231
Funny, I HATE my H's in traffic driving! He follows too close, does not feel the need to break, or even slow down just because the guy ahead of us is breaking! Yikes! Then he is angry at other drivers, and has little AO's (but swears he is just "venting") it makes me nuts. I tend to get a bit demanding, and disrespectful from this. UGH.

CWMI, I am terrified of the cement barriers too! I also have a huge fear of cliffs, so much so that we have a beautiful lake that we can't go to because the road is soooo narrow with a HUGE drop off. My H is very good about accommodating these concerns for me, just not the in traffic stuff.

We also struggle with POJA "on the fly" although we can come back in and discuss later.

tismeagain #2637484 06/19/12 03:11 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
CWMI Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Great long weekend out. We came upon some cruiser wake and H pulled back on the throttle, and I was all, "You don't have to stop." *snicker*

He did great. He also got some "alone time" on the boat to open it up. I get plenty of alone time on it during the week, and he complained that he doesn't get the time I have because he is at work, but there were a few hours where I and two of the kids had to be elsewhere. He'll have time again in early fall when I am in school. He recently got a regular weekday off, but usually doesn't take the full day, so yesterday was his first weekday on the lake. Now he's hooked. On the weekend, there are thousands of boaters on our lake. Yesterday afternoon? We saw, at most, a dozen. Heaven!


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
CWMI #2638229 06/21/12 07:14 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,574
Likes: 1
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,574
Likes: 1
Sweet!


Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010
NewEveryDay #2659535 08/26/12 08:09 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
CWMI Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
I know some of you have enjoyed the sermons at my church, so I want to share the current series here, cause we have both been enjoying it a great deal: http://northpointministries.org/futurefamily/watch



Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
CWMI Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Let me just preface this by saying that things have been going very well; we date like teenagers, our conflict resolution is 'through the roof' when compared to our old way of resolving conflicts, and I really, really feel loved these days. He is VASTLY more O&H.

However, we had an issue that I would like advice on, because while it seems settled, I still feel a little unsettled and frankly, I want someone to talk me out of physical violence. smile

Here's the sitch: Twice a week, my husband takes the kids to the bus stop in the morning because I have to leave early to get to school myself. We have some new folks in the neighborhood who use our stop. One of them is a woman with a young daughter, ~3 years younger than any of our children, so kindergarten or first grade. I'd seen them at the stop, but never talked with them (I drive up there, as everyone else does--some do it because of distance, I do it because then I don't have to get dressed, lol). H started going up there (My classes started a couple weeks after theirs), and came home one evening telling me that woman with young daughter told him that she had trouble getting to work on time after waiting for the bus, and if he didn't mind, would he keep an eye on her daughter if he was going to be up there? H told her, sure, either him or his wife (me) would be up there always, no problem.

I thought initially that it was weird, who leaves their daughter on a street corner with a strange man? But okay, we have a nice neighborhood and we have several neighbors with whom we share child-care duties in tight situations. So, to make sure I was approachable for HER to make such a request of ME, I walked up there the next day, like my H does.

*crickets*

She sat in her car with her daughter until the bus came.

I waited WEEKS for this woman to approach me, or one of the other two mothers at the stop, but nope...she has never said a word to any of us. She comes up there with her daughter and sits in her car and waits for the bus. But when my H is there, according to our children, she pulls up, lets the kid out, waves to my H and drives off.

Hmm.

I told H he needed to stop it. I was not comfortable with my H 'doing favors' for a woman who only asked him, and doesn't speak to ANY of the mothers, most especially the wife of the man from whom she asked a favor. Also, it stinks like a trap to me. Who leaves their daughter with a man, but won't ask a mother for the same favor? It seems...predatory.

So, after a bit of discussion, my H finally told her that he could not be responsible for her daughter and that she had put him in an uncomfortable position, and asked her why she had never talked to his wife? She said she just didn't think of it. ????

Now I want to rip her out of her car by her hair. When H stopped waving off and accepting responsibility for her daughter was a couple of weeks ago, and the woman has YET to say a word to me. Which concerns me a great deal. I realize she does not have great judgment to begin with, but should I confront her? I feel like she owes me an apology for using my husband, and I would be a very happy gal to know that she was sorry for inadvertently causing ANY discourse in our home (the awkward position, his wife).

But it's just *crickets*. So I want to beat the crap out of her, beat into her head that you don't leave your daughter with strange men, and you don't ask other women's husbands for favors.

Help! My natural inclination is something like, set her house on fire.

I feel like my H was doing something that he or I would do, I just don't like the one-sidedness of the whole thing.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
This woman's behavior is really bizarre. I am thinking either she is interested in your husband or she is trying to set him up for something.

And I agree, you don't ask other women's husbands for favors!


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
"Help! My natural inclination is something like, set her house on fire. "

LOL!! Totally get that.

Hi CWMI.

My .02? Seems that your H and you POJA�d what to do about her behavior, and then carried through.
Not trying to minimize the situation AT ALL, but to draw an analogy of sorts�

If you are out at dinner, and a woman at an adjoining table shamelessly flirts with your H, you both POJA that H will request that she stop, she does, and you decide to go on and have a nice dinner, that�s a good outcome, no? That said, if you and your H POJA that you get up and go crack her across the face, well, probably not the best outcome.

Here�s my point: you�re never going to �correct� all of the intentional or unintentional stupidity out in the world, so I�d think that you confronting this dopey-dee-dope and the consequences of doing so for you guys and your kids should be weighed. Is it worth it? That�s for you 2 to decide.

Me? I�d say �Meh. Not worth it.� And, I can be a bit feisty. Choose you battles?

Sounds like you and H are on the same page?




Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
P.S.,

Now, if she continues to persue dialogue with H, that's a different story, but if *crickets* continues on Monday through forever, good! Message sent and recieved. Game over.

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
CWMI Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Thanks, ya'll. I knew it was weird from the get-go. I still feel like if it were me, and I asked a favor from a neighbor's husband, and found that it had caused an issue for their wife, I would run, RUN over there apologizing. I worked on the HOA for a few years, and one of the men came over to install a program I would need on our computer, but I don't know how his wife felt about that; I did tell him to come at a time my husband would be home. Another time, my car broke down and I went next door to ask if they could give me a ride to the rental place because I needed to borrow a car for a few days. The husband took me, but the wife was there and gave blessing, we've known each other almost 13 years.

So I get helping out your neighbors.

I don't get asking a strange man to watch your daughter. I don't get not asking another mother instead.

If I find out that she continues talking to my H (which she wasn't, not after the initial asking him to watch her, she just dropped the kid and left!) I will definitely bring the guns and swingy stuff and wreak havoc on her world.

She is single. I do know that.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
Sounds like a plan...keep the gas cans at bay. mad


Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
CWMI Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Can I kick a pumpkin off her porch? laugh

Can I just jump outta my car and give her the "I'm watchin you" fingers, my index and middle to me, then to her, and then peel off in my minivan? lol.

*sigh* Thug suburbia, it's a rough place to be.



Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
I also have neighbors where we ask for help from each other a lot. I live in the middle of nowhere in a really small community, so everyone knows everyone. I am single, and my neighbor's kid cuts my grass each year and feeds my cat when I am away. On occasion we borrow tables for parties, etc., but I never communicate with the H...only wife, for almost 9 years. W will say "H will be over in 15 minutes", etc.

Not everyone operates this way...if they don't, lose em'.

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
No, don't do any of those things. Very immature, CMWI.

Just drive-by egg her house and be done with it. rotflmao

Page 42 of 45 1 2 40 41 42 43 44 45

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 990 guests, and 54 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy, Ingrid Guerci, Wifey02
71,826 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5