"Help! My natural inclination is something like, set her house on fire. "

LOL!! Totally get that.

Hi CWMI.

My .02? Seems that your H and you POJA�d what to do about her behavior, and then carried through.
Not trying to minimize the situation AT ALL, but to draw an analogy of sorts�

If you are out at dinner, and a woman at an adjoining table shamelessly flirts with your H, you both POJA that H will request that she stop, she does, and you decide to go on and have a nice dinner, that�s a good outcome, no? That said, if you and your H POJA that you get up and go crack her across the face, well, probably not the best outcome.

Here�s my point: you�re never going to �correct� all of the intentional or unintentional stupidity out in the world, so I�d think that you confronting this dopey-dee-dope and the consequences of doing so for you guys and your kids should be weighed. Is it worth it? That�s for you 2 to decide.

Me? I�d say �Meh. Not worth it.� And, I can be a bit feisty. Choose you battles?

Sounds like you and H are on the same page?