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Renters believe Our relationship is temporary. You may be right for me today and wrong for me tomorrow.

Buyers believe We are together for life.

This is essentially what we agree to when we say "I do".
"Until death parts us".

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Renters believe Our relationship should be fair. What I get should balance what I give.

Buyers believe We both contribute whatever it takes to make our relationship successful.

"That's not fair!" grumble , is not a way to negotiate your way to a happy in-love marriage.
Fairness is often subjective. What may seem "fair" to one spouse might seem like a miserable situation to the other spouse.

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Renters believe As needs change, the relationship may end if needs are difficult to meet.

Buyers believe As needs change, we will make adjustments to meet new needs.

Needs do change over time. Life hands us difficult challenges. We adjust together.

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Renters believe Criticism may prompt me to change if it's worthwhile for me to do so.

Buyers believe Criticism indicates a need for change.

When a RENTER listens to criticism, he/she asks himself/herself "Do I want to change?"
The BUYER asks himself/herself "How can I change to make my spouse/my marriage better?"


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Renters believe Sacrifice is reasonable as long as it's fair.

Buyers believe Sacrifice is dangerous and to be avoided.

This one is usually the most difficult for MB newcomers to grasp.
Giving away your own needs to make your spouse happy, will create an imbalance within the marriage.
"I gave him everything he wanted." <~~~ A Renter's lament.



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Renters believe Short-term fixes are fine.

Buyers believe long-term solutions are necessary.

Short term fixes are short term. If you want a long term marriage .... go long.

Last edited by Pepperband; 03/16/13 10:26 AM.
LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders