Why do married people have "big fights"?
What is really going on during a "huge argument"?

Quote:
... which brings us to POJA

which is adopting the Buyer's strategy

means you must consider both your interests ~and~ your partner's interests

up to the point of bilateral enthusiastic agreement

which means NO ONE sacrifices their happiness for the other's .... you seek mutual happiness


A marital fight/argument is one or both spouses making strained efforts to have their spouse see things differently.
What marital squabble ever ended in "mutual happiness"?

If you are fighting with your spouse, stop it.
There is no point to fighting.
Both spouses end up with hurt feelings.