If your wife, who you were only married to for 1 month prior to the career separation, will not apply for you two to live together, i feel you need to decide on assertive boundaries, if you will follow through.

Either that, or communicate that for the marriage to work and become romantically recharged, the two of you need to brainstorm using POJA to come up with a solution.

Find a way to get stationed there or realize you will not have an exclusive marriage relationship.

If your own W will not agree to have her H join her, i do not see anything else that will work.

Let us know if the phone call guided you with any military punitive solutions.