We have spent the last 4 days doing a lot of talking and both seeing independent therapists. We both have opened up about or part in creating difficulties in this marriage. I was able to vulnerable about my insecurities when we moved 2 years ago and I had a hard time making new friends, getting a job and making a new home. He opened up about how much sadness he had during deployments and how he has never been able to cry about it, articulate his feelings and thoughts about what he went through then and how he hasn't been able to do the same with me regarding our relationship. He admitted that he has been bottling up practically everything. Not telling me good, bad or indifferent thoughts he has because he has always felt like talking to me was going to annoy me or set me off. I was in a bad place when we moved and he immediately made friends and had great success in school and job offers. I was jealous, bitter and hurt that he was moving into a new phase of our life with such ease and independence and I was having a very hard time finding my place in this new life. I admitted that and he admitted that he just withdrew completely instead of working to come together with me. When he wanted to share good news, he began sharing it with friends from school because they were able to share enthusiasm back whereas his good news made me feel even more insecure and uncertain about my role in his life.
It's hard to prove someone is not having a physical affair. But I know that he is not. Hopefully this makes sense.
After all of this self discovery and conversation that we had over the past few days, he has confused me a lot by saying that he cares for me still, he slept over at our home a few days, has been very caring and sweet but still says that divorce is his decision because he doesn't think he can make me happy.