I told him that I would separate if he did not start with these principles. I didn't detail more than that - I kept it brief and I was dead serious (I really was). I admit, ShineOn, that our marriage was much younger than yours (I was pregnant with a toddler), and I understand that would be a big upheaval for you and your long-term marriage.

But keep in mind, Dr. Harley has observed women do not tolerate neglect the same as men. Men can take a lot more, emotionally. For affairs, men try to win back a spouse for six months. It's three WEEKS for women.

If you are already unwell, it may be worth considering if you need to leave. That doesn't mean divorce, it means taking steps to protect yourself.

BTW, our marriage is great today, three years later, but he knows how close it came.