short update just in case anyone is following this thread:
We've done very few lessons (completing one per week in the order the coach suggests) BUT the best thing has been the 15hrs/week. To be honest, sometimes it's stressful because I fear an AO but the enjoyable times have been such a balm to my hurting heart and when I'm happier, I'm more in love and that seems to make him happier. Hubs seems more aware of his behavior and how it affects me even though we've not done the AO chapter yet. I see how I've used SD and other abusive ways in the past that contributed to some of the problems we face today.
Of course there's still a long way to go and many concerns along the way but I feel more optimistic that we'll make it through with the help of the coach and access to Dr. H via the private forum that goes with this program.
A very worthwhile investment I think!