Hi anna! Every now and then I get the inkling to come back here and lurk. Seems like every time one of my buddies has just posted a message! Lo and behold, here you are.. Sooooo, is there someone in particular????? hmmm?? details! We want details!

I haven't dated anyone yet, but I do have an acquaintance who's a single male and a vietnam vet. Met him through a gardening group and this year he's been here on 4 different days helping me with gardening stuff. I think I grew so accustomed to my ex's short temper, and various other unpleasant and dysfunction behaviors that I found myself 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' with this guy.

For example, at one point, this guy's chainsaw got stuck in the oak tree. I was expecting him to start cussing and acting angry at any second. It didn't happen. I was thinking to myself how unusual this is. It made me realize, I need to have more experience with emotionally healthy people to the point that it doesn't feel weird anymore!

I think it's probably an unrealistic expectation to think that you could love someone and never be hurt. My goal is to have a relationship with an emotionally healthy person, and my biggest fear is ending up with another dysfunctional one. Is it fear of being hurt or fear of another creep that you're worried about? Or both?