Sent through e-mail to my WH this afternoon. Made title "catchy" so hopefully he'd read it!<p>--------------------------------------------------
Subject: "I CONFESS THAT I HAVE A NEW MAN IN MY LIFE AND I FEEL ALIVE & LOVED"!!!!!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------<p>His name is "Jesus Christ" and I know that he loves me like no other. He forgives, he heals, he picks you up when you fall, will never forsake, abandon, leave or cast you aside. He answers prayers and comforts when you are lonely and at the end of your rope. When you have truly given up and said "I QUIT AND I GIVE UP"............he answers and shows you the way......

I confessed all my sins, all my unforgiveness, all my anger, hatred, resentment, fear, failures and asked him to reveal anything in me that "IS NOT OF HIM". I asked him to take over my life, give me a new heart and show me his
will............

I asked him to show me his will and this is what he showed me.............

1). More Love in My heart for you than I've ever known husband.....
2). He lifted the weight of the world off of me, when I told him that I didn't believe you were capable of forgiving me,
you and us......
3). I broke and cried when I told him that I knew we could heal, rebuild and thrive in our marriage but I didn't
believe that you would ever allow us too.......that you "quit us and found a fantasy escape in another"..........

GOD showed me his answer: (Colossians 3: 12-14)
(Corinthians 13: 4-8)

4). I told God that I had married and committed to our marriage vows/covenant for life but I couldn't take this anymore
and I don't feel my husband wants us enough to fight for us and he is just throwing us away.......

GOD showed me his answer: (Mark 10: 2-12)
(Mark 10: 27)
(1 Peter 3: 1-7)
(Matthew 5: 27-32)

5.) I cried and told God the man I see today, is not the "real" man I married, but I have seen "glimmers" of the man I
fell in love with and married "inside" the man I see today..........

GOD showed me his answer: (2 Timothy 2: 25-26)
(Galatians 5: 16-21)

GOD loves you, forgives you, will never leave, fail or betray you. Just reach for him.

Your wife is here husband, she loves you, forgives you (even for the unknown of these past 3
years). She is here waiting for you and praying for you to be reconciled with GOD first
and then GOD will heal, reconcile us and we'll be "What he wanted us to be all along".

TRUST ME "HUSBAND".......I am not setting you up for a false hope or fall here. I know that we can still have "US and the marriage we wanted and needed, that God wanted for US. "SATAN bomb-barded us through LIFE'S Pressures, demands and circumstances consistently hitting us". Everything of Satan is what came out of us, the fighting, the anger, built of frustration, the sense of hopelessness............EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!

I am going to fight Satan to the fires of hell for you, for me, for our love (YES, IT'S THERE BUT SATAN IS TRYING TO FINISH IT OFF IN BOTH OF US)...............GOD & ME are believing in you and we'll fight to the finish because "YOU DESERVE BOTH OF US!!!!!! You are a "BEAUTIFUL MAN, HUSBAND AND CHILD OF GOD". Evil and Satan CANNOT HAVE YOU!!!!!! We got "attacked" because we were strong "together" and that is a "threat to Satan".

(NO Code 13's "Escape" HUSBAND), NO DIVORCE EITHER.......... Satan used evil to separate us to "WEAKEN AND DESTROY US" and he's using all his evil influences to keep us separated. I choose Jesus Christ and I choose our marriage.

Very cool! Get thee behind me satan!

And this wife IS NOT laying down or afraid of a "WIMP" like Satan! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

I "CHALLENGE" all WS/BS to have an "Affair" with GOD!!!!! I am! And I can't believe what 2 weeks of turning my WH, me and our marriage over to him has done! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

You have got to tell us his reaction to this!!

Betrayed ~<p>I don't want to rain on your parade - turning your marriage over to God is a very good thing.<p>BUT, if you want to have your husband come home, you will have to drop the disrespectful judgements, which is what the above letter is full of.<p>You can be morally self-righteous, or you can be married. You can't be both.

br, I have to agree.. in a conversation with my h today... he sd.. when I sd... <p>the longer this goes on the worse it is...<p>his reply... and that means the more I will have to make it up to you?<p>I wish he was more sorry and he felt worse... I think he does feel quite bad.. but does not get into doing pennace to me... or making right his wrongs... my h just wants to get back to a normal life... not fix his wrongs... maybe he will quit his wrongs and do more rights.. but that does not mean... if I go around preaching how horrid adultery is.. and how bad he has messed up that he is coming around..<p>thanks for reminding me.. and I hope that helps you out- betrayed again... <p>I am sorry for all the pain... as time goes on... I do see that the more I hang onto my anger and my rightness for being faithful and his utter wrongness for commiting adultery.. the less we come together.. .<p>hugs and luck, HOney

I'm afraid I have to agree with Rosie, preaching at him will only serve to push him away because it comes across as a disrespectful judgement. It may be true that satan is behind some of your troubles but telling your WS this will only make him feel that you are accusing him of satanic behavior. <p>I am so happy that you found Christ, but I would take it easy right now with that kind of talk if you want to wake him up.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Honey:
<strong><p>I wish he was more sorry and he felt worse... I think he does feel quite bad.. but does not get into doing pennace to me... or making right his wrongs..</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
Honey, I have found that the more time that goes by and the less defensive that my WS is, the sorrier he is for his behavior. I think at first he was sorry he got caught and felt sort of defensive because I was attacking him. But in the absence of attacks, I can see that he is truly sorry now.

Betrayed.....great letter. I looked up all the scripture while I was reading and it gave me new hope that God isn't going to end my marriage forever. It really is amazing how God works in our lives when we really do surrender it all up to him. He shows you things that you never knew were possible.<p> I was so uplifted by the letter and scripture I am going to send it to www.rejoiceministries.org as an inspiration to others that don't want satan to take something God gave to us.<p> I think he may need a little reading as to what God says. He may or may not read the letter but at least he will know you have a knew peace about the situation and he may wish to have that peace too.<p> Love in Christ,<p> cajunky<p>[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: cajunky ]</p>

Morning All!<p>Thanks for your responses! First of all, the letter is not about "disrespectful judgements". The letter is "GOD'S words, promises and etc. taken straight out of the bible. <p>Bible verses's are clearly "GOD'S" rules to us.<p>The answers I found (thru Bible verses) were answers to feelings that I had/have, not WH. WH is walking a dangerous path, both in the flesh and in the spirit. Because I love my WH, and he is a part of me, I sent the letter.<p>Disrespectful judgement would be telling WH that he had a "serious character flaw", was a low-life cheater or something like that. My letter to him was not that. It was GOD'S word through scriptures. If my WH gets angry or defensive over the letter.........well who would it offend?<p>Certainly not GOD.<p>God's love for us and his power, forgiveness and will for us is stronger than anything of Satan or anyone on this earth.<p>When a WS is in the state of "fog", if you want to get right down to it.....anything we BS say or do, can and usually is "PERCEIVED" as negative, because that's the way "THEY" want to see things to justify their behavior.<p>GOD is not "disresprctful" nor is his word and nor are we who live by it, share it or believe in it. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hugs to all and hope you have a day (better than yesterday and not as good as tomorrow)! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

cajunky,<p>Thank You for your response! Did I read your profile correctly? You were the "WS"? I focused on what I felt, what I went to GOD with and the answers that he gave (Me).<p>The scripture was scripture of GOD'S words and promises, relating to these situations. I believe ALL THINGS are possible with GOD.<p>Thanks for you kinds words......<p>Cajunky, as a WS or former WS, how would receiving a letter like that have affected you?<p>(((((Hugs)))))

Betrayed Again,<p>I did not say that God's Word was a disrespectful judgement, but rather, your PREACHING at him. Preaching to your husband is using God's Word as a baseball bat and I assure you, he will probably see it that way. It might make you feel good and morally superior but it will only serve to push him away.

Melody,<p>Did not do this to "make me feel good". Did it to try and reach out to WH........show him that forgiveness is his by GOD and me.........<p>I've read numerous times on here, that former WS didn't believe they were worthy of forgivenss or love. I was simply showing WH where he can be reminded thru scripture. And reassuring him that he DOES DESERVE GOD'S LOVE AND MINE. I am still here and I'm not throwing him out with the "garbage". I know the goodness inside of him, and I know with time, God"s help.......he'll be back........<p>Sometimes it is just so hard to express what you really feel inside isn't it? Sometimes, you just can't seem to know what to do, when to or even if to.<p>Kills me....WS scream we push, they scream we don't try, they scream "you just won't let go", then turn around and scream "You don't care because you stopped reaching or you didn't care enough to find me".......<p>GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!!!

Here's what I've found on Sexual Sin:<p>"...The body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body."<p>
1 Corinthians 6:13 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."<p>
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."<p>
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (NIV) <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin -- this man also does the right thing."<p>
1 Corinthians 7:37 (NIV) <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."<p>
1 Corinthians 10:13 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"These are the ones who have not been defiled with women, for they have kept themselves chaste. These are the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. These have been purchased from among men as first fruits to God and to the Lamb."<p>
Revelation 14:4 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."<p>
Hebrews 13:4 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."<p>
Hebrews 4:15-16 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted."<p>
Hebrews 2:18 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be!"<p>
1 Corinthians 6:15 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."<p>
James 1:12 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
"Then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment for the day of judgment."<p>
2 Peter 2:9

echo <p>I will check them out!!!!! THANK YOU!!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

BetrayedAgain,
I am so excited for where you are with the Lord. It is an exciting journey walking with Jesus. Your post is a true testimony of what God can do with a BS heart and I hope it will encourage others here.<p>The thing that concerns me in it is that you sent this to your H and you do not mention where he is: physically, spiritually, emotionally. I bring this up because...depending on where your H is (spiritually/emotionally) this could cause more harm than good. Let me give you 2 examples 1) if someone has a child that dies would you say to that person to comfort them: Romans 8:28 All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord... 2) Satan used scripture to tempt Jesus in Matthew 4:6. <p>So what I am trying to say is your post is full of God's promises and that is a beautiful thing. These things are true BUT conveying this message to your H (if he is not at a place spiritually/emotionally) to recieve it can actually turn him AWAY from Jesus. It can be viewed by him as spiritual manipulation/abuse.<p>This statement: (NO Code 13's "Escape" HUSBAND), NO DIVORCE EITHER.......... God NEVER takes away our choices. There are consequences to our choices but he never takes them away. The door is always open for us to freely leave if we choose. We need to demonstrate that to our H. If we take away their choices they feel like they are in bondage and they will fight harder to be free. Read "Love must be tough" by James Dobson.<p>When we walk with Christ we need to be willing to loose everything/anything for His sake. Are you willing to put your marriage on the alter as Abraham did with Isaac. Are you willing to loose your marriage/your H. IF you are unwilling you may have set up your marriage/your H as an idol.
I am speaking from experience (read my signature line). These trials with this OW rocked the foundation of my faith. I had myself in bondage until I was willing to loose my H and be happy/content in life without him in it. We can pray for our H until the day we die BUT IF our H are unwilling to change their hearts, God will not force them too. He will give them consequences to their decision/actions BUT He will NEVER force anyone to do anything or else what would be the point of love? We need to show that same example. What your H is doing is wrong. You need to also be careful that you don't confuse your H by painting a picutre for him that allows him to continue this way with no consequences. Sometimes we get in God's way of teaching others a lesson. <p>Just something to think about. I am happy for what God is doing in your heart - that is exciting! Keep walking with Him. I am now at a place where with or without my H I can have a happy full life with Jesus. My relationship with God is NOT dependant on my marriage. And my success in life has nothing to do with whether I am married or divorced. His love for me is the same whether I am married or divorced.

HiyA!<p>I know my WH has been baptized in the water and that he knows the bible. Do not know if he has been baptized in the "spirit".<p>The code 13 thing is an "inside joke" between WH and I. Not something any of you would understand. But WH will remember it.<p>My WH is probably at the point that he feels he has screwed up so bad that niether GOD or I could possibly love or want him. That's why I sent it.<p>All I know is everything my WH is doing in his life right now and most of the past 3 years, has been completely "OPPOSITE" of everything he ever openly "hated". No one was more hating or outspoken about affairs than WH was.<p>As far as WH blaming me for everything wrong in his life, yes I am human and made mistakes but I really believe he was "projecting" onto me what he really feels about himself. It is obvious that he tried to find happiness by running head on into another relationship, one that we all know is based on "quicksand". He hasn't "found himself or happiness". Signs have been there that he is still "unhappy". He's got to like/love himself before he can be happy and make someone else happy. And an "A" isn't going to do that. Also, for the 3 years this has been going on, WH has not said he wanted divorce nor has he took any action. He has had several spells of withdrawing and closing me out but in time always came back. Difference this time is I have found MB, learned through other's on here, ordered and read books and grown in my personal relationship with my heavenly father. Make sense?<p>Just something to think about. I am happy for what God is doing in your heart - that is exciting! Keep walking with Him. I am now at a place where with or without my H I can have a happy full life with Jesus. My relationship with God is NOT dependant on my marriage. And my success in life has nothing to do with whether I am married or divorced. His love for me is the same whether I am married or divorced.<p>This is basically where I am at. As far as divorce. I WILL NOT file and I have clearly set the boundry with WH that I will not be in a 3-way relationship. That I am willing to meet him half way and make this marriage the best it can be but not until WH "chooses" to end his "A" and work on our marraige. If he chooses divorce, I will not stop him but it will be him that will have to file, if it comes to that. And I AGREE, WH actions and choices WILL NOT keep me from growing in GOD'S LOVE! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ May 24, 2002: Message edited by: BetrayedAgain ]</p>

Hey Betrayedagain,
If God led you to send this to your WH, you did the right thing, as I read it, it always amazes me that I am not alone in feeling this way! I wish I could send my H this same letter, as it is exactly how I feel. Unfortunately he is in a place where he would not accept it. One day however, when the Lord has turned his heart of stone into a heart of flesh... I still await that day. I am happy in the Lord, and with or with out the H, I am ok.
I have a promise from the Lord as you do, and it is so nice like I said, that I am not alone in this! continue to stand for what you believe, and know that there will be times of doubt creep in, but always, always, take them to the Lord. I have been waiting for 7 years, and believe me there have been times of doubt, but each time, and so close to giving it all up, Jesus has once again showed me His truth and promises. When I feel like I want to contact my H, I pray about it, and the Lord usually gives me a sign whether or not to. If it is not Gods timing,I can get pretty bummed out by the H's response, and I feel I put a hurdle into His plan, but when it has been God's will and timing, it has always been a blessing. I trust Him and wait on Him not on my H. Make sure that Jesus is the center of your focus at all times, I believe you are there now, but like I said, there will be days...
God Bless and keep you!

I do feel like GOD led me to send the letter. And i still have my "down days", but i just pray harder! I hang onto the facts to;<p>1). WH hasn't contacted me since he cut me off and refused to tell me where he was 4/26/02.<p>2). He hasn't said anything about wanting a divorce. And I haven't been notifed of any or served.<p>3). What he left here from when he originally moved out in 4/99 is still here. I know it may not mean anything to him right now but it's his and still here. (Guess he left something to get his foot in the door).<p>4). His mail is still coming here.<p>5). I really think after 1 1/2 years of his deceivng me about her being "gone" and my finding out about contact in March/02, even though he angrily tried to blow it off like "rumor's", refused to talk about it or answer any questions and etc. (HE KNOWS IT'S BEYOND SERIOUS THIS TIME). Because I screamed divorce, even informed him of date and time of my appt. with attorney. (He cut me off and disappeared 4 days prior to the appt.) I had only done this once (3 years ago in the beginning).<p>6). I lovingly told him (thru e-mail) that I Loved him and believed our marriage could be re-built and "thrive" but only once he "chose" to end all contact with "OW" for life. That I WILL NOT be in a 3-way relationship. I still want him but not unitl she is gone. That I WILL NOT even attempt to work on our marriage until he "chooses" to end "A" and gives his all along with me to heal "us".<p>7). I believe that my finding out about recent contact, confronting WH 4/14/02, his losing his job 4/22/02, his having to move out of former company's apartment, truck problems, everything hitting him in a matter of just a couple weeks, has probably been just about his I eye opener.<p>8). I believe that he has cut me off because he knows he's guilty and is trying to figure out how to get his "tail" out of this one. And probably focused on getting a new job.<p>Even though I have my hurts and etc. Have to deal with "rejection", his "A" and all. I would much rather be in my shoes right now then his. I have a job (11 years at same place), am living in our home, able to pay my bills, have brand new car, rational and clear head on my shoulder's, growing with my GOD, and I never turned my back on my marriage or him. I can look in the mirror and know that I have been faithful, have done all I can and still am, to become a stronger, better person and better wife. I actually really feel sorry for him. I am understanding his confusion better through my gained knowledge here on MB and through recommended books. My favorite guide is GOD and the bible though.<p>I really am doing "ok" and seems to get a little better each day. Almost "scares" me. I do still love and want my WH, I have forgiven him (even the unknown) and I PRAY FOR HIM constantly. I even pray for the "OW". I pray that she is brought back to the cross and her salvation isn't at risk. I pray that she finds someone whom she can fall head over heels for and can have an honest, open, loving and blessed relationship with and it WILL NOT be at another's expense.<p>My co-workers and friends are amazed at how well I am doing, how much better I am looking and just the positive change in my attitude in general. They don't understand how I am doing this and haven't "cracked" for what all my WH has put me, him and our marriage through. <p>I remember in 4/99 my WH said this to me:<p>"I just snapped under the pressure before you did". That was in regard to his "OW" and their "something going on".<p>Well......it's not about "snapping".<p>I am just apparently more comitted to our marriage than he was, more forgiving, more tolerate and more GOD-CENTERED than WH. My morals are definitely at a different place than his at this time. Also, I had a 4-month "A" in my first marriage after finding out my 1st WH was having one. NO EXCUSE FOR THAT! I was young, stupid and not where I am now with GOD. I learned my lesson the HARD WAY and it STUCK! The h**l I put myself through in that "blunder" is a strong factor as to why I have been totally faithful to my WH since I first laid eyes on him and especially through this 3 year mess. I know the pain of being betrayed and being the betrayer (ist marriage not this one). I have been the BS in BOTH marriages. My WH was the BS in his first marriage as well. He was never unfaithful in first marriage or ours until 3 years ago to present. More than sure it has blown all his circuits.<p>SO in answer to some of the posts I have seen:<p>Once a cheater.....always a cheater.....HOGWASH!<p>I did once and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER AGAIN!!!!!<p>Once my WH comes out of this fog.......yes I am not only willing but determined to show him that he is truly forgiven, is not a "bad person" and he STILL DESERVES a faithful, loving, supportive, forgiving wife! And he is certainly DESERVING OF GOD'S love. I also don't believe he will ever cheat again nor do I intend to leave him "vulnerable"!!!!!<p>I know and walk in faith that GOD will give us our chance..<p>Geesh, I didn't mean to "BABBLE ON".......I'm Sorry! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>(((((((HUGS)))))))) <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /><p>[ May 24, 2002: Message edited by: BetrayedAgain ]</p>