Hi everyone,<p>I just want to tell you guys after being Dv for nearly a YEAR??? wow, yes, 1 YEAR in mid-June ... I have made some true strides in healing and getting on with life. For those of you who are newer here and don't know me, I am a slow starter, always have been. But when I learn something, I learn it for keeps. <p>Now that's not to say I still don't have my bad days, I do, but overall I am on my own and enjoying it. <p>Thing is, the last two weeks I have been receiving several (understatement) call hang-ups at both my place of employment and my home. They just listen to my voice saying "Hello" a few times and then hang-up. CLICK!<p>My place of employment had already blocked my ex's cell and work phone a while back, and I have done the same at home. <p>My point? Well, I can't help but wonder who's playing this game, and you know who I think it may be, one of two people (ex or OW). And every time one happens the "old mess" seeps back into my brain. It's totally unconscious, yet, it does affect me. And not in a positive sense. <p>I just wanted to update you guys on my state of mind and emotional health these days. And also if you have any suggestions on thwarting these bad-memories trigger phone calls, that I'd surely appreciate advice.<p>Thanks for listening, and God Bless.<p>Love,
Jo

Jo---<p>Can you change your work # (different ext.) and/or your home # (go unlisted)?<p>Do you have caller ID?<p>I know when I get hangups, I pretty much attribute them to phone soliciters with auto dialing...but I guess that isn't likely to happen at a work phone. <p>Anyway---just my $0.02...<p>Take care <p>E

I dont know where you are at but in fl we have a system called *69 it gives you the last number that called you.

Hi Elad ...<p>How are you? Thank you for responding.<p>My work filters out all soliciting and marketing type calls. In addition, I have caller ID at both work and home. The calls come thru as a Phone Booth call located in a very nearby city. Always a different phone booth too. <p>I considered early on changing my work ext., but so many colleagues outside of Intel have it, I felt blocking ex's phone would have been sufficient, I guess I was wrong.<p>And as far as changing my home phone. NOT AN OPTION FOR ME .. and you know why? When my ex had his first A I had to change my home phone number 4 different times! .... I will NOT do it this time. In addition, there are certain financial things tied to my home number, it would be a big fat hassle.<p>Ohhhh well, I guess if it really gets to me I'll just bite the bullet and make changes. Sux to have to run ... yanno?<p>Jo

Hi coping ...<p>Yes, I've used the *69 feature. Altho, as I mentioned, the calls come thru as pay phone or phone booth calls. When I *69, I get a fax line type tone. The operator told me that is normal for incoming pay phone calls.<p>Thanks for the tip anyway, Hon.<p>Lv,
Jo

Well---I don't think of it as running so much as standing your ground and not taking any BS from whomever is hassling you...<p>Phone booth #'s in nearby cities, hmmmm? That's strange... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Maybe you just have a secret admirer [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I know the triggers aren't fun, but look...you've made it a nearly a year now...and you really do sound good. That says a lot [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>BTW--I am OK, thanks for asking...not much new in my situation so I haven't posted much....but life can't go on like this forever.<p>Take care <p>E

If they (OW, XH, whoever).. get such a kick out of buggin you like that, then feel sorry for THEM!!! They need to get a life! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>So don't let it bug ya! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Where I live we have the *67 feature. If you put that in and then call the number *69 doesn't work. We've tried it when we had hang ups and people staying on the line just to hear us repeat hello. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] The operator told us there was nothing she could do to trace the call. <p>RW

Since xow is stalking us, I've been to several web sites about the subject. It was recommended that one not disconnect the number where you're contacted but simply get another number, place that phone with the old number in a room with an answering machine. Your friends will know the new number and you won't be hassled by hangups on the old number or make the stalker try to find the new number. They won't know it exists. I thought it was a pretty good idea. <p>You can also get the phone company to rig your phone line to not accept out of area or unknown caller numbers. In our area, phone booths cannot accept incoming calls. <p>Our answering machine came with a message pre-programmed in it. She can't get to listen to our voices that way.

Jo,<p>You have done an awesome job healing, and recovering you!!! Triggers ick!!! WH with OW in FL this week, triggers big time!!<p>Just some thoughts,
the old whistle trick,
call the cops,
say hello once no response hang up loudly
Whatever you do don't let them see that you are upset, that they are getting to you!!<p>Take Care,
Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Jo - I believe you will keep getting stronger. Making any progress on that PP?<p>My brother has some phone feature that screens calls. A recording answers and the caller has to state who's calling. After that, apparently - I've never been on the answering end - his phone rings and he can hear the recorded name of the caller, and decide whether to answer or not. He has a code he can give out to allow this process to be bypassed. This may not be a perfect solution because the unwanted caller could just continue to hang up, but maybe he/she would not get the satisfaction of hearing your voice or know he/she was being successful in aggravating you.<p>Another fun possibility - When you know it's the mystery caller, pretend to be an answering machine:<p>Jo: Hello?<p>(silence) (or you can tell from caller ID that it's the mystery caller)<p>Jo: Hello? I can't answer your call right now because I'm in the Virgin Islands with Brad Pitt (or your favorite hunk). BUT, I'd love to talk with you, so at the sound of the click, please leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as I'm recycled!<p>CLICK

i like wat's idea. i did a simmilar naughty thing to drive her nuts-i knew it was her,and she wasnt stopping-only happened when i was home. so i decided to tell the caller i was involved with sf with my hubby, so please call back later. of course i was a little more graffic than this, and guess what-it stopped. i know she knew he was at work-they worked together-i guess she didnt like the images in her head either.

Hi Jo,
As I was reading this thread I got a "hang-up" call and I don't need three guesses to figure out who it was! I am so sorry that you are having this happen to you. You are doing so great in your recovery. Keep strong and don't let them get to you. I like amhurt's suggestion. Wouldn't that annoy the heck out of him/her!!
Hang in there Jo, you are an amazing person! I just wish I had some great advice to give you like you give me!
Hugs,
BH

Hey Jo,<p>We have *57 as an option in our area that logs the phone number that made the last incoming call to your phone that is only available to the police. Then it is up to you to make a report so they can access them.<p>I get a lot of "unknown name" calls that can be attributed to telemarketers, hum, unknown, then I don't know you and I don't pick up. I also block calls from those that block the number. You don't want me to know where you are calling from then you don't want me to pick up and the phone doesn't ring.

First of all, you are not a slow starter, you are just making sure you get it right the first time so you don't have to do it again.<p>Now as for the phone calls. Get a whistle.<p>Probably shouldn't do it at work, but at home, blow away my sweet.<p>E

Elad
Yeah .. I guess it's standing my ground, but sometimes I feel I'm being bullied. I just don't understand the attraction to listening to someone's voice saying "Hello". <p>I'm glad you are doing well ... are you still in contact w/wife, or are you doing a strict and pristine Plan B?<p>Faithy
You're right, I'll do my best. I'm going to turn my ringer off at night because soemtimes they come as late as 2:00a ... ughh!<p>Hi Rob's Wife
I was aware of *67 as well. I'm somewhat of a phone expert only because of OW who love to use the phone. Thanks Hon. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Amhurt
How are you? I have done exactly that, I have two phone numbers and one is in my office, but occasionally I'll use it while on the Laptop in my family room. It's pretty cool having two phone numbers. But a bit confusing since the phones look almost identical. Sometimes I place them in the wrong cradle. Thanks for the tips!<p>Hey Dawn
I forgot all about the whistle thingie. I'm gonna go buy one. Excellent idea!<p>DAVE!
Your bro sounds like Mr. Phone Techie, I like the fun solution you posted tho ... and I was LMAO! I'll try that. C'ept I'll say Fiji instead ... I always wanted to go there. [Hint Hint] lolol<p>What in the heck is "recycled"???<p>Nikkooooolaaaaa
Ha ha on OW .... good job!<p>Hi there BH
Thank you for the encouragement ... did you buy that Stun Gun yet?<p>Medic Medic Medic [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
When OW was harassing me via phone before, I used *57 to have her calls traced. She liked calling from the local Mega Foods pay phone. She must be moving up in the world now cuz one of the recent ones came from a pay phone near a Starbucks. Thanks Zippy for the advice. And HEY, when's that wedding anyhooo?<p>Hi Elizabeth, my bud ....
I am getting the whistle .... maybe I'll even get one of those mega-phones too. Propel a mega whistle right thru their ear drum. lol I'm a meanie, huh?<p>[ May 31, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Hey Resilient:<p>If I'm not too late to get into this discussion, I'd like to make a suggestion that I didn't see mentioned yet.<p>There is a thing you can buy, I think only at Spy (type) Shops. It's kind of a "voice synthesizer." It's a little pricey, I think, but probably worth it! It changes your voice, to sound like anything you want!!<p>If your "hang-up caller" is really some perverted weirdo, who's stalking you or something (present exH and OW exempted!), it might be great if they heard a man's voice from time to time! Make them wonder WHO'S at your house.<p>ESPECIALLY at 2:00 am. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>My .02

Hey Jo,<p>More suggestions here. U don't even need the whistle (unless you want to!!!), just hit any of the buttons on the phone. Play them a tune!!!! LOL!!<p>My cousin used a guy with an accent to do her answering machine. He sounded real cute! Then next time, she had a butler, my cousin never has a dull moment!!! LOL!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>How about talking about having the call traced, see how they react. Something like: "Let's see, the police said to dial _ _ _ _ _ to have them.....oops, I sent it .....", then leave them hanging. <p>L.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong>What in the heck is "recycled"???</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Duuuh - c'mon, Jo - that's what you do in the "Virgin" Islands!

They have a little book that has actual songs you can play with the buttons on the phone. I wish we still had it. <p>Maybe if the megaphone/whistle thing doesn't pan out you could do twinkle twinkle over and over again till the jerk gets the point.<p>E